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Back to reality, whoops there goes gravity

So, it’s been a while since I last wrote one of these. The last 6 months has been a bit of a blur to say the least. But now I am on my last week of maternity leave, extended maternity I should say.

As I sit here in my bed with my two babies sleeping next to me I can’t help but feel really sad. I know the majority of mums go back to work after having a baby, sure I’ve done it myself but this last year and a half I’ve honestly just loved being at home. Ok some days were tough and a bit overwhelming and I did count down the minutes to Bryan coming home but that was only a handful of days. I'm only human right :)

I've loved living in this bubble, being there for Denver every morning and afternoon when he started school (he's in seniors now!) Doing homework and talking about the kids in his class and his teacher. I'm scared we are going to lose that now. The thought of trying to fit everything in in the few hours we will have in the evening, homework, dinner, chats. I know we will find a routine but I wish I could just stay home with my babies. I’m going to miss my morning routine with Nono's, how I clean the house and he just wrecks it behind me. My house is in a constant state of mess the last 6 months. I've grown to just go with it :) Honestly the hoover is on like 5 times a day here. He's just a rhino ploughing through everything. I wouldn't change him for the world. I am just so lucky to have two amazing boys. One sensitive, kind caring soul who is always looking out for others. The other, a bull in a china shop with a twinkle in his eye. Both boys will make you laugh with their sense of humour and funny faces. God I’m going to miss their little faces so much during the day.

Then there are my classes, my classes that I have worked so hard on the last few years. This morning I taught my last mum &baby yoga class in Douglas as work is clashing with this class so I had to move days and venues. Some of my mums and baby’s won’t be returning as they have other commitments on a Monday and it just makes me sad that I won’t see them again. I don't care that it’s a paying customer gone. I care that I won’t get to see their babies grow each week and share a little part of their life with them. I know over the years I’ve come across a lot of people through yoga but in the last few years since I found my passion I get so attached to people and hate it when their time is done.

But I suppose I have to go back to the real world at some point eh? Hopefully, in time I will get my dream of the yoga business taking off with the classes, workshops, retreats and massage and I can stay at home with the kids and work in the evenings & weekends. One thing I know for sure is the last 6 months with my father getting sick it’s made me realise that my hubby is honestly the best father and husband a girl could ask for. Spending so much time in the hospital in the evening and weekends has actually made us stronger as a couple and family as we really do treasure the time we have together as a family. I love my three boys so much I want to burst sometimes. I guess I’m just afraid of change but I know next week all will be fine once I get the first morning over and done with. The next chapter on my journey of motherhood. For now I’m going to turn off this laptop and turn in for snuggles with these two snuggle monsters next to me

Night night


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